Insanity Rules! Revenge of a Twisted Mind
by XTakuiX
Summary: Mwahaha! My long-awaited insanity fic! 1st chapter updated, and 4th added! (at long last!!) R&R please! ^__^ P.S.~ I apologize for the delay! R&R!!
1. Thoughts of Revenge

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII. Squaresoft does. I don't own any of the FF/Anime/random video game characters mentioned in my fic. They're just here. I only own the fic and my characters Takui and Kurai...and anything that has to do with Takui and Kurai...(i.e..: Takui's palace, Kurai's temple, etc..)  
  
A/N: Ok, all! A long awaited insanity fic. This is just kind of random, so beware. I recommend reading "A Walk Through My Twisted Mind" by Ender before reading this, it'll make A LOT more sense, if any at all. I have permission from Ender and Crazy Insane Girl to use them and their muses in my fic...if anyone wants to enter, let me know. Ready? Lets have some fun!!  
  
Insanity Rules! Revenge of a Twisted Mind  
Chapter 1: Thoughts of Revenge...  
  
  
{ Setting: Takui's palace in the Inter-Dimensions (a place between two or more worlds)...Takui is contemplating revenge for the destruction of her palace.. }  
  
  
Takui: *drums fingers on the table top in boredom and frustration* First, he makes fun of my Sephers...Then, he defies me! THEN, he ruins my palace and frees my slaves! What nerve! *stands and paces around the room*  
  
Servant: Is there anything I can get you, Madame?  
  
Takui: A pain reliever, my headache's only gotten worse...  
  
Servant: Yes Madame. Anything else?  
  
Takui: Something or someone to take my frustration out on.  
  
Servant: Yes Madame. Anything else?  
  
Takui: What are you?! a broken record! Get out!  
  
Servant: Yes Madame. *walks out*  
  
Takui: *pelts servant with a vase*  
  
Servant: Uhg! *falls down many flights of stairs, unconscious*  
  
Takui: *paces some more* I'll get that Ender...if it's the last thing I ever do! He'll pay for what he did to me and my sister!  
  
  
{ At Ender's house }  
  
  
Ender: *shudder* Weird, a cold chill just went down my spine...oh well...hmm...what should I write a fic about? Hmm.....  
  
LbH: WAZZZZZUUUUUPP!?!?!  
  
Ender: O_o; What the?! What are YOU doing here? I'm still mad at you!  
  
LbH: ô_o For what?   
  
Ender: Duh! For nearly getting us killed by Takui two weeks ago!  
  
LbH: Oh, that! Well, who's to say she even remembers? We rewound everything, remember?  
  
Ender: What if she does?! She'll come to get us!  
  
LbH: You worry too much...besides, she's probably busy with Sephers! *wink wink, nudge nudge*  
  
Ender: We're not allowed to call him "Sephers"!! Are you suicidal?! And stop winking and nudging me!  
  
LbH: Geez! Lighten up! She's not gonna remember! Besides, even if she did, she doesn't know where your house is, right?  
  
Ender: Oh yeah....  
  
LbH: Sooo...who's up for a game of poker? *shuffles cards*  
  
Ender: Ugh....I'd rather not...  
  
LbH: Chicken! Buck buck bu-GAWK! hahahaha!  
  
Ender: Shut up! I'm trying to write...go bother someone else!  
  
LbH: Oh, ok, fine! I know when I'm not wanted!  
  
Ender: Then why do you hang around?  
  
LbH: Shove it! *storms out*  
  
  
{ Back at the Inter-Dimensions. About 2 miles from Takui's palace, a huge, crumbling temple/tomb sits amongst its own rubble. Inside, at the large, round top of a pyramid of stairs, a huge, mismatched demon beast sleeps. At the base of the pyramid, a figure in a red cape is seen kneeling in prayer. }  
  
  
Vincent: Oh, Kurai, please wake up soon! Ever since you returned from the Life-Stream, you haven't even opened your eyes! Will you ever be able to return to your normal form? *sniff..* I'll get that Ender! He and his friends will pay for what they've done to you! *sniff..*  
  
LbH: *walks in, seemingly from nowhere..* The hell? How'd I get here? where IS here anyway? *sees the sleeping demon* O_O holy shit! Please tell me that's not who I think it is! AAHH! It is! It's Kurai! *runs around in fear and slams into a statue* X_x  
  
Vincent: What's going on? *stands and sees LbH* YOU! You're that author's muse! the accomplice! You're one of those responsible for what has happened to Kurai!  
  
LbH: *stumbling around like a drunk* Yyyy-UP! I sheeertanly am! Hee-eey! Can I have your autograf? *smiles stupidly*  
  
Vincent: Bumbling fool! Time to die!  
  
LbH: *previous phrase somewhat sobers him up* What?! Die?! No fair! *runs around in fear again* I don't even know how I got here! Help!! Ender!! *runs up the stair pyramid and trips over Kurai's forked tongue* O_O; HELP!!! DEMON!!!!  
  
Vincent: How dare you set foot on the sacred Pyramid of Worship!  
  
LbH: You worship her? Hahaha!   
  
Vincent: No, rodent! This temple was built to honor the royal demons that ruled this place! And you have dared to desecrate its holyness!  
  
LbH: Dared to what? That's not even in my vocabulary! *bumps into a fang* Damn! What kind of demon is she?! Wait..don't answer that! *zooms off as fast as a little blue hedgehog can run*  
  
Vincent: You won't escape!!  
  
LbH: *already has*  
  
Vincent: Damn...my sincerest apologies, Kurai.. *bows respectfully, then runs out after the hedgehog*  
  
  
{ Back at Ender's account/home/whatever you wanna call it.. }  
  
  
Ender: *sigh* It's enough that I lose to my muses isn't it?!  
  
CrazyInsaneGirl: Nope! ^__^ Care for another round? *shuffles cards*  
  
Ender: No thanks! I'm broke!  
  
C.I.G.: Awwww.....oh well! *scoops all of Ender's money into a big bag with a dollar sign on it*  
  
LbH: *runs in so fast, hits the table and knocks it, and Ender, over*  
  
Ender: What the hell?! What're you doing! Crazy hedgehog!  
  
LbH: Demon! Demon! DEMON!!  
  
C.I.G.: What? Demon? why are you screaming "demon"?  
  
LbH: Vincent's trying to kill me!!  
  
Ender: Dare I ask...Why?  
  
LbH: Somehow I ended up in a temple in their world and Vincent thinks I des..de..dese...des-e-cra-ted the "holyness" of the temple they worship demons in.  
  
C.I.G.: Ooooo! Why do I get the feeling this is bad?  
  
LbH: It's VERY bad!! Vincent remembers! What if the rewinding thing wore off?!  
  
Ender: Then we're in very deep shit.  
  
C.I.G.: ô_o Ender, you need to keep a leash on your hedgehog!  
  
Ender: I should...*holds up a lovely pink collar and leash with cute little flowers on them and a bow*  
  
LbH: NOO! That's even worse! Have mercy!  
  
Ender: I don't think so! If you get those demons and their pets mad at us again, I'll never take the leash OFF! *shoves the collar down over LbH's head* There!  
  
LbH: NOOOOOO!!!!  
  
  
{ Back at the temple, the beast-formed demon stirs slightly from her slumber, opening a single, snake-like, blood red eye. The saber-shaped crystal horn in her forehead glows with magical energy, and deep beneath a reptilian hiss, the words, "time for revenge" can barely be made out...}  
  
  
A/N: Woo, ok, ok...bear with me! Mwahaha! It'll get funnier as new chapters emerge, and more people and/or their muses join in. The demon princess and the half-beast are back and ready to take out their rage on poor, little, pathetic,..*goes on and on and on...*...defenseless Ender! Mwhahaha! Chances are, it could get ugly early on. Stay tuned for chapter 2! It'll be up soon, I promise! Just review! Please! Oh, and if any of the people who helped out Ender in the fic previous to this want to help him (or me) out in this one, lemme know in a review, or e-mail. Mwahaha! This'll be fuuun! R&R! 


	2. The Beast Awakes

Disclaimer: Once again, I own nothing. Final Fantasy belongs to Squaresoft. All I own are my stories, my characters, a can of Fresca, an almost-empty box of Milk Duds, a pencil, a notebook, and a bunch of other boring stuff. But FF belongs to Squaresoft. OK? Good! Now leave me alone!

A/N: Woo, okay! The second chapter to a random insanity/revenge fic! Behold! Took me a little while to read up on the authors that asked to join the fic. But, at last, the second chapter is finished! The authors in this fic have agreed to let me use them and their muses for full-scale hilarious insanity! Woohoo! Read, and don't forget to review. ^__^

Insanity Rules! Revenge of a Twisted Mind

Chapter 2: The Beast Awakes!

( At a popular hang-out for authors,... )

Ender: I can't believe LBH got into trouble again! If Takui finds out, she'll try to kill me again!

CrazyInsaneGirl(to be called Crazy from now on): Don't worry so much! You'll get wrinkles! See? There's one right there!

Ender: WHERE!?!? *grabs a mirror* 

Crazy: I'm kidding, Ender.

Ender: *sigh* For a minute, you had me really scared!

Crazy: *sweatdrop*

Andreah(to be called Andy from now on): Hey guys! Wazzup? How ya all doin'?

Peluso: Where's LBH? *looks sad*

LBH: *still wearing the leash and pink collar* ...hi...

Andy and Peluso: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

LBH: It's not funny!!

Crazy: *snicker* Actually, it is....

Ender: Yep.

LBH: -__-;

Chris(Ender's other muse): Maybe we should be thinking, ya know, of something to do about this? Maybe see if Takui's found out yet, or prepare in case she has. 

Ender: Good idea. Maybe one of us can go and spy on them or something...

Peluso: I'll go!!

Ender: Someone good at being stealthy...

Peluso: I'll go!!

Crazy: Right! they hafta be small, too...and quick!

Peluso: I'LL GO!!!

Chris: What about LBH?

Peluso: I WANNA GO!!

LBH: No way in HELL am I goin' back there!!

Ender: If you go, I'll take the leash off. That is, if you can manage to NOT get into any trouble with those demons!

Peluso: I SAID I'LL GO!!! Damnit...

LBH: *takes off leash* YAY! FREEDOM!! 

Andy: Um, Ender? I think Peluso wants to go too.

Ender: Huh? He does? Why didn't he say anything?

Peluso: _; Idiot!!

Crazy: Ok! Go for it! *a porthole opens out of nowhere..*

Peluso: Geronimo!! *jumps thru*

LBH: Here goes nothin'! *jumps thru* SH**************T!!!!!!

Ender: He better not mess up...

Crazy: He will, don't worry.

Ender: ...

( The Inter-Dimensions, near Kurai's temple... )

LBH: Here again?! It's at least 2 miles to Takui's castle!

Peluso: Cool! Weird place! I love it! *skips around*

LBH: Aren't we supposed to be stealthy and quiet?

Peluso: *shrugs*

LBH: Ok then...

Peluso: Look! *points to the temple's entrance* Who's that?

LBH: Ack!! It's Vincent! Get down! *hides behind a boulder..yanks Peluso's tail to get him from being spotted*

Peluso: ?!

( Temple Entrance.. )

Vincent: I can't believe that stupid blue hedgehog actually had the nerve to return! Oh well...It won't take long for Takui's pets to find him and his author friend! Then we can all have our revenge! *sits down and takes a sip from a water bottle*

LBH: *peeks out from behind boulder* Eep! Scary! He's out to get me!

Peluso: Looks like he's out to lunch..*points to Vincent, who is now opening a snack lunch and munching on a sandwich*

Vincent: *munch munch*

LBH: Haha, very funny, fluffy.

Peluso: Hey! 

LBH: *snicker* fluffy...hehehehehe...*snicker*

Peluso: Grrr...*kicks LBH from behind the boulder*

LBH: O_O; *sees Vincent..* AAHHHHHH!!! *tries to hide again..*

Vincent: *looks up from his lunch* What the...?...?!?!? You! *gets up and runs after LBH* I'll get you this time!

LBH: CRUD!! *runs into the temple..sees Kurai, screams again, runs out... sees Vincent, screams again, runs back inside...this goes on for about 5 minutes..*

Peluso: *rolling on ground laughing like an idiot* HAHAHAHAHA!! 

Vincent: Hm? A friend? You'll both make excellent tools for Takui to relieve her stress on! *takes out Death Penalty* Now, just hold still...it'll hurt less!

Peluso: O_O; Uh-oh! *gets up and runs after LBH..grabs LBH and hides inside the temple*

Vincent: Get back here! This is a holy place! You are not allowed to enter!

Peluso: Go suck an egg! Hmm...*looks for a place to hide* Aha! He won't find us up here! *drags LBH up a pyramid of stairs and hides behind a piece of rubble at the top*

LBH: @_@; 

Peluso: Gee, what was this platform for? *looks around* Seems like there should be something here...like a statue or a treasure or something...weird..

LBH: *rubs head* so *dizzy...looks around* ?! No! Not the pyramid! Kurai's up here! Help! He--huh? *sees they're the only ones at the top* Where'd she go?

Peluso: Where'd who go?

LBH: There was a demon up here just before! Where is she?! Did she wake up?!

Vincent: Where did you pathetic muses go?! Come out here and maybe I won't kill you!

Peluso: No way, freak show! I'd like to keep my hairless ass intact, thank you very much! *throws a rock*

Vincent: *hit by rock* Ow! Grrrr....You're asking for it! Come out now! This is a holy place of worship! It--what? *notices Kurai is no longer where she used to be* Kurai?!

LBH: We're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna die....

Peluso: Would you shut up! What if that demon's still in here?

LBH: O_o; o_O; O_O; HEEEEEELLLLPP!!!!! 

Vincent: Ha! Found you! *runs up the stairs*

Peluso: Idiot! *smacks LBH*

LBH: *falls backward onto his back* ow! Huh? What's that? *squints eyes at the ceiling* Uh oh....

Peluso: What now? *looks up*

Vincent: There you are! Huh? *looks up also*

( Clinging to the ceiling, about 50 feet up, a huge, mismatched demon beast glares at the three below her. She shrieks and drops down onto the pyramid, landing on her hind legs so that her forearms - and massive claws - are free to be used. )

LBH, Peludo, and Vincent: O___O;;;

Beast-formed Kurai: ROOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR!!!

LBH, Peluso, and Vincent: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Vincent: She's out of control! *turns and runs back down the stairs and outside*

LBH: DEEEEEEMMOONNN!!! *runs, trips, and rolls down the stairs* oof! ouch! oo! agh! ow! erk! ahh! ack! *thud* @_@;

Peluso: Run! Run for your life!

Kurai: *takes a deep breath and a spits a fireball at the fleeing muses*

Peluso: O_O; Help!

LBH: *running out the door* C'mon! Let's get outta here!

Peluso: No shit! *runs by and keeps running*

LBH: Hey! Wait for me! *runs after him*

Kurai: *roars and smashes about half the pyramid with her tail, then takes off and flies after them, hitting - and completely obliterating - part of the ceiling*

Vincent: This is VERY bad! *grabs a chocobo and hops onto its back* I have to warn Takui immediately!

Peluso: *hastily opens a porthole and jumps thru*

LBH: Hey! *jumps thru at the last second*

Kurai: *wheels in the air and spews orange-green flames in every direction, melting rocks and other stone structures. Roars and continues to rain destruction down on the temple and surrounding area, then disappears thru a porthole of her own.*

Vincent: This could be very bad...

To be continued...

A/N: What'd ya think? I think it's a little funnier than the last chapter. If there were any authors/muses I didn't add into this chapter, fear not, you'll be in the next one, I promise! Review people! ^__~ and stay tuned for chapter 3!! Mwahaha!

P.S.~ Sorry for the delay! I had technical diffulties. Basically, my computer was giving me shit with this file. Anywho, it's up now, so review!


	3. Plushies, Plotholes, and Chaos!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that isn't mine. All I own are my stories, myself, and my characters. The other authors own themselves and their respective muses. My friends own themselves. Random quotes are owned by whoever said them first. The end.

A/N: OK! The long-awaited 3rd chapter to my revenge fic, Insanity Rules! This chapter, however, is a spur-of-the-moment, random piece of insanity. A few of my friends here in the real world make appearances, so any names you don't recognize as authors are probably them. 

Included in this chapter: the infamous Trigun Cat, Plushie Wars, Stupid/Funny/Random Quotes from just about Anything, Attack of the Typos, Chibi-ness spreading like a plague, and Plotholes galore!! WARNING: DANGEROUSLY HIGH INSANITY LEVELS DETECTED! PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION IF YOU WISH TO LEAVE SANE! ^___~

Insanity Rules: Chapter 3

Plushies, Plotholes, and Chaos!

{ Near Midgar, in the FF7 world... }

Kurai: *pops out of porthole* ROOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!! *still beast-formed..* RRAAAAAAAAAGGHHHH!! 

Random person: AAAHHHHH! *runs*

Another random person: O_O Holy shit! *runs and knocks into Random person*

both random persons: @_@; *fall down unconscious*

Kurai: ROOOAAAARRR!! *flies into Midgar and starts tearing things apart..*

little black cat nearby: meow.

{ In Takui's world... }

Vincent: *reaches palace, runs inside and grabs a servant* Help!

Servant: O_o; I-Is there a p-problem, s-sir?

Vincent: *pant* Yes! *pant* Kurai..*pant* is *pant* out of *pant* control! *pant gasp* Tell Takui! *gasp pant* Now!!

Servant: o_O; Oh my...right away, sir! *runs off and up several flights of stairs to Takui's quarters..*

Vincent: *pant pant, huff, pant, gasp, pant..* -_-;

Servant: *taps on Takui's door* Madame! Madame! It seems there's a problem that requires your attention! Madame!

voice from inside the room: What is it?!?!?!

Servant: It seems that, uh...according to Vincent, Kurai has gone out of control, madame! What should we do?

other voice inside room: Fix the problem and leave us alone!

Servant: *sweatdrop*..but...it's a very urgent matter, madame!

yet another voice: just leave!

Servant: Uh...madame, may I ask who all is in your company?

first voice: No, you may not! Now leave!

Servant: But...

second voice: NOW!!

Servant: ...um...

third voice: Beat it!

Servant: *thinks, paces, looks at door and tries not to think about the odd sounds coming from behind the door...finally sighs and knocks on door again* Mada--!?

Door: *swings open*

Sephiroth: *standing in doorway, with two, small puncture holes in his neck, and wearing only his black overcoat (tied in front with the belt) and holding his Masamune* What is it?! It had BETTER be important!

Servant: O_O; _; M-My ap-pologies, s-sir! I-I d-didn't know y-you were b-busy, madame! *backs away for fear of his life..*

first voice: Sephiroth! Get back in here!

Sephiroth: You got lucky, server-man! *goes back in the room*

third voice: Can I kill him yet, Takui?

Takui: No, you may not! At least not yet, Legato.

Legato: Too bad...

Servant: O_o; I-I'm v-very sorry m-madame! I had n-no idea you were....

Takui: *comes to door and stands there, leaning on doorframe, wearing a only a very transparent, very short, black, silk robe..* Can't you see I'm busy? What's the problem and why can't it wait?!

Servant: O_O It's uh...O_O...just...O_O...just that..O_O...it seems Kurai...O_O... Kurai has...O_O...uh, um..O_O..has gone out of control and..O_O_O_O_O ...

Takui: *grabs Servant by the throat and holds him face-to-face with her* SPIT IT OUT ALREADY, HUMAN!!

Legato(from somewhere in Takui's room): Temper, temper! *chuckles*

Takui: Be quiet, Legato! *turns back to servant* Now, what's the problem?!

Servant: *gurgles unhappily* I-It's just t-that K-Kurai h-has gone m-mad and *gasp, choke, gurgle* a-and is attacking the m-mortal world, mad-dame! *gasp, choke* S-She is b-beyond c-cont-trol! *gasp* H-How should t-the matter be d-dealt with, madame-e? *gurgle, gasp*

Takui: *sighs and drops the servant..*

Servant: *THUD!* *gasp gasp gasp, choke, heave, gasp gasp, wheeze..*

Takui: Fine, fine. Tell Vincent to take Fei-Oh, Tkarr, and Cerberus to get her. Now, LEAVE! *spins on her heel and walks back into her room, slamming the door*

Door: *slams shut*

Servant: *runs back downstairs to give Vincent the message, then later in the servants' quarters..* Damn...I wish I were one o' those guys...

same little black cat from before: meow.

{ Meanwhile, back in Author-Land }

Andy: Jeez, Ender! You SUCK at poker! 

Ender: I know, I know... -_-;

Kinneas: HI GUYS!!!

Zage: *seems to just "appear"* Hello Kinneas...

Ender: Hi Kinneas...-_-;

Andy: Hi!

Crazy: *also just kind of "here"* Anyone seen my muses?

Alex: I'm here! I dunno where everyone else is, though...

*sporks suddenly fly thru the air and completely miss everyone*

R.J.: Aww! I missed, dammit! SPORKS!!

Deirdre: COOKIE!

Chris: Ender, did you get her sporks?

Ender: She wouldn't shut up!!

LbH: Help! No! Not the....LEASH!! *comes running by*

Peluso: Hey! Get over here! If I feed you to Kurai, maybe she'll forget about me!

LbH: O_O; NOOOOOO! You'll never take me alive! *runs over and clings to Ender's head* Save me!!

Ender: No.

Andy: *snicker* 

Kinneas: I'll save you! *whips out her Clarinet of Doom (tm)* Hold on, LbH!!

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Clarinet of Doom (tm): TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!

Everyone except Kinneas: AGH!! *falls unconscious*

Kinneas: Oops! My bad!

little black cat: *falls out of nowhere and lands on K's head* Meow..*gets up and jumps off* Meow! *walks away*

Kinneas: ???

Zage(mysteriously unaffected): Bartender! Whiskey!

Bartender: Comin' right up!

?: I just LOVE my Cye plushie!

??: Well, I love my Duo plushie!

???: My Trowa plushie! It got DIRTY!!!

Zage: Who the hell?

Cid: *also just kind of there* Who the f*ck is that?

?: Hi! I'm Sara!

??: I'm Nicki!

???: I'm Nicole!!

????: I'm Allison, but these people call me Ally!

Ender: *wakes up* Huh?

?????: I'm Jessie! Nice to meet ya!

Sara: *hugs Cye plushie*

Nicki: *hugs Duo plushie*

Ally: *also hugging a Duo plushie*

Jessie: *hugs Heero plushie*

Nicole: *hugs Trowa plushie*

Ashleigh(appears cuz ?'s are annoying): *hugs Quatre plushie*

Erika(also just kind of appears): *hugs Li plushie*

Everyone else(now suddenly conscious): ô_o

Sara: Hey! You made a face! You're making fun of my Cye plushie, aren't you?! AREN'T YOU?!?!?!

Andy: Uh...no?

Sara: LIAR!!! *heaves a Cye plushie at Andy*

Andy: OW! Hey! That hurt!

Zage: What's with all the plushies?

LbH: Yeah! they look soooooooooo stupid!

Peluso: Yeah! Stupid! LOL! Stuuuuuuupid!!

All the muses: *in a sing-song voice..* plushies are stoopid! plushies are stoopid! plushies are stoopid! plushies are stoopid! plushies are stoopid! plushies are stoopid! plushies are stoopid! plushies are stoopid! plushies are stoopid! plushies are stoopid! plushies are stoopid! plushies are stoopid! plushies are stoopid! plushies are stoopid!

Sara, Jessie, Erika, Ashleigh, Nicki, Nicole, & Ally: *glare* HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE HOLY HOLYNESS OF THE PLUSHIES!!!!

Kinneas: We didn't insult them! We just said they're stupid!! ^_^

Ender: Uh, Kinneas? I don't think that's a good idea...

Kinneas: What isn't? Calling them stupid? But they are!!

S,J,E,A,N,Ni,&Al: *Heero Yuy deathglare* 

Ally: They have insulted the plushies!

Nicole: They must pay!

Everyone except the afore mentioned: O_O; SHIT!

Ender: Run away!!!

Nicki: The world will be saved by pancakes!!

Erika: And there will be much rejoicing!

Zage: Huh? *trips ender* Oops, sorry...*runs*

Sara: Bathe the whales!! *charges at the authors with Cye's yari*

Andy: Bathe the whales? o_O; AAHH! *runs*

Ally: Attack!! *starts hurling Duo plushies at the authors*

*Duo, Quatre, Trowa, Heero, Li, & Cye plushies pummel the authors as they attempt to run away...*

*In the background, the real Heero, Duo, Quatre, Trowa, Li, and Cye tiptoe past, hoping to be unnoticed....a little black cat sitting on a table smiles*

little black cat: Meow.

Zage: Cid! Help!

Cid: No f*cking way! *runs away*

Andy: *getting hit by mostly Cye plushies* Ow! Ow! Stop! We're sorry! Ow!

Peluso: Save me Andy! *clings to Andy's head*

LbH: *clinging to Ender* AHH! *gets knocked out by a Heero plushie*

Ender: *grabs LbH and runs* Why me?! Why always me?!

Zage: Cuz no one cares! *turns into her vampire scary self* GRR!

Ashleigh: AAHH! Vampire!!! Quatre, save me! *cowers behind a Quatre plushie*

Jessie: Cool!

Nicole: Awesome!

Erika: Neat!

*J, Ni, and E adopt Zage as their new god*

Zage: *smirks* Ok then...

Ally: Get the rest of them! ALL HAIL THE DUO PLUSHIE!!!!

Sara: Plotholes! Attack! *plotholes start to appear..*

Kinneas: Not the plotholes! NOOOO--hey, what's a plothole??

*a large plothole opens, and one million starving, crazed weasels covered in sauerkraut run out and charge at the authors...another drops a little black cat on Ender's head...yet another spews forth a wave of pumpkins, 15 angry movie critics, an Aztec warrior, the wreckage of a Gundam, a pod of dolphins, a horny lion, Red XIII, two dead fish, a can of spaghetti-O's and an umbrella....*

little black cat: Meow.

All authors and their muses: O_O; O_o; o_O; ô_o; WHAT THE F*CK!?!?

Ender: *flings cat off his head and keeps running in no set direction, as long as it's away from the plotholes and scary people..*

little black cat: *is flung*

Andy: This is getting toooooo weird! Ack! *hit by falling pumpkins* 

Zage: *watches with a smirk on her face as she is being worshipped by Jessie, Erika, and Nicole* ...hm....Humans! attack Ender! This is fun...

J, N, and E: Yes master! *start hurling Heero, Trowa, and Li plushies at Ender..*

Ender: No fair! I'm ALWAYS the victim!!

Crazy: Hey, we're victims too, ya know! O_O; *gets chased by the lion*

*all the authors (save Zage) & their muses regroup, as they are being surrounded by flying plushies, plotholes, and the things spewing forth from the plotholes..*

LbH: What now?! We're surrounded!

Crazy: Thank you Mr. Obvious!!

Peluso: Help! *leaps onto Andy's face to avoid being caught by a weasle*

Ender: We're done for!!

Andy: Only a miracle could save us now!

*right on cue, a huge plothole opens under the authors and their muses, and they plummet through the inky depths of the plothole until they are finally spit out about 15 feet from the ground somewhere...*

Authors and their muses: AAAHHHHHHHHHH-- *THUD!*

Crazy: Owwwwww.....*rubs her head*

Andy: *sits up and picks pieces of pumpkin out of her hair* Yeesh! This is cruel and unusual punishment!!

Ender: *pulls weasel teeth out of his hand* Ow! No fair! Why always meeeeeee?!

Peluso: Shut up! You're giving me a headache! 

LbH: Help! I bounced off a rock and got stuck to this sign! 

Kinneas: *pulls LbH off the sign* Hey! There's writing on that sign!

Deirdre: Signs usually DO have words on them...

Kinneas: I knew that! But this one's words are weird! They're all spelled wrong!

Ender: Huh? What do you mean?

Kinneas: I mean, they're spelled wrong! Look!

All: *look at sign*

*Sign reads: WLECMOE OT TEH LNAD FO TEH TOPSY! ON TSRESPSASNGI!*

Andy: The heck?

Crazy: I think it's supposed to say "Welcome to the Land of the Typos. No Trespassing." Weird...

Ender: Land of the typos?

LbH: You'll fit right in, Ender!

Ender: Shut up!

Crazy: How can there be a "Land of the Typos"? What? Are there walking misspelled words here? This is just insane! It's a joke, I kno it!

Andy: *Gasp!* You typod! Ack! I made a typo two! ONN!

LbH: On? You meen "no", rite? O_O Ho on! We'er beng ataked by tyops!

Kinneas: Ataked!? By tyops?! Hwo si taht posibul?!

Ender: We hvae ot gte uot fo heer!! WNO!!

Peluso: I garee! 

All: *nur dna urn adn run and run until the typos are out of reach..they come to another strange sign at a crossroads*

Andy: Now what? 

Peluso: *points to sign* Andy, what's a lemming?

Andy: Huh? Why?

Peluso: The sign says "Lemming X-ing".

Ender: Lemmings are small rodents...

LbH: There's another sign! It says..*squints*.. "Beware the Chibi". Beware the Chibi? What's the chibi?

Kinneas: Isn't that "small" in Japanese? Or something to that effect?

Crazy: Yeah...hmm...I wonder..*walks closer to the sign..starts to shrink* ?! Help! *voice starts to get high pitched* Help! I'm...I'm....CHIBI!!!!

All: O_O; *before anyone can react, they all turn Chibi*

LbH: Oh no! We're chibi! *runs around in a circle*

Ender: *in tiny, chibi voice* I can't believe our horrible luck! This is horrible! 

Andy: I know! And not to mention-- O_o; Do you hear that?

Crazy: Hear what?

Andy: I think I hear...squeaking!

All: *look down path...* o_O; OH NOO!! Not....LEMMINGS?!

*squeak, squeak* AAHH!! *squeak, squeak* *running footsteps* OH MY GOD, NOOOO--*THUMP* **the authors have just been run down by lemmings**

A/N: ^____^ So? How was it? Review! This was a spur-of-the-moment chapter. I was bored, hyper, and full of Orange Soda. This was the result. No, the authors are not dead. They just got run down by lemmings. Which, by the way, is actually the original idea of my friend Sara, who has a story here somewhere that ends with the very same thing! I'd like to thank all the authors for letting me use them, and my friends for letting me use them too. I don't own Gundam Wing, Trigun, Card Captor Sakura, Ronin Warriors, or FF7 in any way, shape, or form. I don't own the authors, or my friends, they own themselves. Review, peepz! See you in chapter 4!! ^_^


	4. P.W.P. - Plot? What Plot?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that isn't mine. Duh. I only own my stories and my characters and my ideas. And a bunch of other crap. That is all.  
  
A/N: Well, the insanity continues my friends! ^_^ I loved the last chapter so much, I felt compelled to do another one just like it! Well, not EXACTLY like it. Friends of mine in the real world will be present once more to wreak more havoc upon the authors. The little black cat from Trigun will, once again, appear randomly throughout the fic with no purpose to the storyline whatsoever. Plotholes will also be present. You have been warned, so any consequences resulting from my insanity are not my problem. Have fun.  
  
*******  
  
Insanity Rules! Revenge of a Twisted Mind.  
Chapter 4: P.W.P. - Plot? What Plot?  
  
  
{ Back in Author-land... }  
  
Ender: Ha! I finally won! Hahahaha!  
  
LbH: Shut up! *Pouts*  
  
Andy: You finally beat LbH at poker. Go you!  
  
Ender: Who da man?!  
  
Crazy: I dunno, I don't see any.  
  
LbH: *laughs like an idiot and falls off his chair*  
  
Ender: *glare*  
  
Andy: Good one!  
  
Crazy: Hehehe! ^_^  
  
Kinneas: *in a corner, asleep* SNOOOOOOOOOORE!!  
  
Ender: ô_o Dang, she's been sleeping ever since we got back from that place with the lemmings and typos...  
  
Andy: *shudders* Don't remind me!  
  
Crazy: Yeah, that was just scary...  
  
Zage: *walks in* Hey, what's up guys?  
  
Ender: Don't you knock?  
  
Zage: Do I ever?  
  
Ender: Good point.  
  
LbH: I'm tired. C ya! *Goes to room, which is currently filled with all the other muses who are blissfully sleeping the day away*  
  
little black cat: *sitting on a dresser top* Meow.  
  
(Back in the room..)  
  
Ender: Man, I'm beat! I don't want to have to deal with weird things today.  
  
All others: Me neither!  
  
Zephyr: *walks in* Hi!!  
  
Ender: Don't YOU knock?   
  
Zephyr: Zage doesn't.  
  
Ender: Good point.  
  
*Knock knock..*  
  
Crazy: Wow, someone knocked!  
  
Andy: I got it. *Walks to door...opens door* Hello?  
  
?: DIE!!! *Cye plushie smacks Andy in the face*  
  
Andy: O_o; OW! Hey! You?!  
  
?: Yes me!  
  
Kinneas: *now awake* Who's me?  
  
?: I'm Sara! The one who sent my plotholes after you! I'm back for revenge!  
  
Ender: Not today, I'm tired.  
  
Sara: But.... I brought my Cye plushies! I can't be denied my revenge!  
  
Andy: Yes, you can. *Slams door on Sara's face and locks it*  
  
Sara: I'll get you! You'll all pay! *Laughs maniacally while running down hall*  
  
Crazy: Right....  
  
Zephyr: I just know I missed something!  
  
  
{ In Midgar... }  
  
People crowd around a large pile of rubble that had fallen into the Sector 3 slums, staring up at the newly visible sky and the strange thing on top of the mound. Shinra soldiers creep closer to the thing, guns and shields ready just in case --  
  
???: ROOOOOAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!! *Smash, bang, crash*  
  
Soldiers: AAHHHHH!!!  
  
-- that happened.  
  
Vincent: *rides in on Cerberus's back* Kurai!!   
  
Kurai: *still beast-formed* ROOOAAAARR! *Spits fireballs at the soldiers, then when satisfied they won't be back anytime soon, goes back to sleep*  
  
little black cat: *sitting on a hunk of metal* Meow?  
  
Vincent: *sweatdrop* I guess this won't be as easy as Takui said...What has she been doing the last few days anyway?  
  
  
{ At Takui's Palace... }  
  
Sephiroth: *standing outside the door to Takui's room, wearing only his black pants* Ya know, Legato, I think she likes me best.  
  
Legato: *leaning on balcony railing across from Takui's door, also wearing only his pants* Really? Why is that? I happen to think she likes me best.  
  
Sephiroth: Because I've been here longer than you have!  
  
Legato: Well, I didn't betray her for some other authoress.   
  
Sephiroth: That was a fluke! A fluke! I was brainwashed!  
  
Legato: Riiiiiiight. I've been nothing but loyal, and she relies on me most.  
  
Sephiroth: You're just here to do her dirty work! I'm the one she really loves!  
  
Legato: *runs hand through slightly ruffled, blue-silver hair* You're getting a bit flustered. No need to get upset, unless you're lying.  
  
Sephiroth: I'm her favorite and you know it!  
  
Legato: You're just her beverage. *Points to the scars of puncture marks on Sephiroth's neck* Only gluttons are in love with their dinner.  
  
Sephiroth: Grrrrrrrr....Shut up!  
  
Legato: Give me one good reason!  
  
Sephiroth: *raises fists* Bring it on, mind-reader!  
  
Legato: *cracks neck* Ready and waiting, freak show!  
  
*Door swings open and Takui, dressed in the same silk robe from last chapter, leans on the doorframe*  
  
Takui: Would you two please shut up? You're getting really annoying.  
  
Legato and Sephiroth: *stare and nod like little 4-year-olds*  
  
Zechs: *from inside room..* Yes, please be quiet. You're really ruining the mood in here. *smirks* Besides, Takui doesn't have a favorite.  
  
Takui: That's right. Now, be so kind as to shut your mouths and leave. *Goes back into room, slamming door*  
  
Legato: Well, you heard her.  
  
Sephiroth: *nods* He better not show us up.  
  
Legato: I know. *Starts walking down stairs* I'm going to go work out.  
  
Sephiroth: Yeah, sure. Wait up. *under breath* I still say I'm her favorite.  
  
Legato: You are not!  
  
  
{ Back in Author-land...at a bar... }  
  
  
Zage: Looks like a win again.  
  
Ender: Dang it! You rigged it didn't you?!  
  
Crazy: Uh, Ender? You can't really rig "Go Fish."  
  
Andy: Right. It's not exactly possible.  
  
Ender: But she won 3 times in a row! 3!!  
  
Zephyr: We know! We're here too, ya know.  
  
Kinneas: Hey, look! It's our new friends! ^_^ *points to corner*  
  
All: Huh? *look toward corner*  
  
*In the corner of the bar, Heero, Trowa, Quatre, Duo, Li, and Cye are being smothered by a group of obsessive teenage girls whose plushies bear the anime characters' likenesses*  
  
Nicki and Ally: I love you Duo! *hearts floating in the air..*  
  
Nicole: I love you, Trowa. *cuddles Trowa*  
  
Ashleigh: I love Quatre and Quatre loves me! Right Quatre? *hearts..*  
  
Quatre: Eh..hehehe...s-sure! *sweatdrop* Of course...anything you say!  
  
Jessie: You're so cool, Heero! *hugs Heero*  
  
Heero: ...  
  
Erika: I love you Li!! *hugs the boyish card captor*  
  
Sara: *sighs* Cye.... ^___^ *cuddles Cye*  
  
The authors: O_O Them again?!?!?  
  
The girls: O_O Them again?!?!?  
  
Ender: No! Today was so normal!!  
  
Sara: Die!! *hurls Cye plushies*  
  
E, N, Ni, J, A, S, and Al: *hurl their respective plushies at the authors*  
  
Andy: Not again! NOO! *Gets pummeled by plushies and a little black cat*  
  
little black cat: Meow?!  
  
Heero, Trowa, Quatre, Duo, Cye, & Li: *stare at each other and shrug*  
  
Sara: You won't get away this time!  
  
Ally: Yeah! Duo? Go hurt them for us!  
  
Nicki: Please Duo? *anime hearts for eyes*  
  
Duo: *shrugs* OK! *jumps over table* I don't know who you are, but my girlfriends don't seem to like you too much, so I'm afraid you'll have to leave!  
  
Zage: No way! We have just as much of a right to be here as you do! YOU should leave!  
  
Jessie: Hey, and I thought you were a cool vampire...Heero!  
  
Heero: Mission accepted. *leaps over table and whips his gun out*  
  
Ender: O_O NOO! Please don't kill us! We pathetic authors aren't worth it!  
  
Zephyr: Speak for yourself!  
  
Ender: You're supposed to be on my side!  
  
Zage: That was never in the job description...  
  
Crazy: Uh, guys? Maybe we should leave before we end up in another plothole?  
  
*Right on cue, a huge, black hole opens up in the floor under the authors...*  
  
Andy: Too late...  
  
The authors: ...AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Sara: Ha! I TOLD you I wouldn't be denied my revenge!!  
  
  
( Wherever it is that the plothole took them... )  
  
  
The authors: --AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! *Thud*  
  
Andy: Owwww, my head..... where are we now?  
  
Crazy: *looks around...* Well, I see huge piles of metal, some horribly built little shacks, some very frightened people, and...Shinra soldiers?  
  
Kinneas: I see Vincent! And isn't that Cerberus and Fei-Oh and Tkarr?  
  
Vincent: O_o; *sweatdrop*   
  
Cerberus: GRRRRRRRR!  
  
Tkarr: GRRRRRRRRRR!  
  
Fei-Oh: GRRRRRRRRR!  
  
Ender: Uh oh....  
  
C, T, &F-O: O_O EEEE! *run away*  
  
Vincent: Uh.... not to be helpful or anything, but you may want to turn around...  
  
Kinneas: Why should we trust you?! You'll probably feed us to Cerberus!  
  
Andy: *turns around..* O_O  
  
Crazy: O_O  
  
Ender: O_O  
  
Zephyr: O_O  
  
Zage: ...oohh, fuck...  
  
Kinneas: Huh? *turns around* ...oh, hello Kurai!! *waves energetically*  
  
All, except Kinneas: O__O;  
  
Kurai: *stares down at the authors with hunger and insane levels of anger in her yellow-red streaked eyes...* ....hiiiisssssssssssssssssssssss.....  
  
Vincent: Good job...you woke her up...*sweatdrop*..toodles! *steals a car and screeches off*  
  
Kurai: *long crystal horn glows, eyes widen, thick red-violet-black fur bristles, thicker white mane around her neck gets bushier, ears flatten, and the air seems to sizzle..*  
  
Ender: Why aren't we running?  
  
Andy: I'm too scared! O_O; _;   
  
Kinneas: Cover your ears, guys! *whips out Clarinet of Doom(TM)*  
  
All: *cover ears*  
  
Kinneas: TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!  
  
Kurai: *mysteriously (and very unfortunately) unaffected* *growls, while wisps of smoke trail from her nostrils and between her saliva-dripping fangs*  
  
Kinneas: Huh? It...didn't work?  
  
Zage: Now would probably be a good time to either run or duck...  
  
Zephyr: Why?  
  
*In response, Kurai's jaws open nearly 180º to release huge waves of searing hot, white-blue flames over the now ducking authors and hitting another large hunk of scrap metal, which is quickly reduced to smoldering, molten steel...*  
  
Zage: That's why...  
  
Zephyr: O_o; ...oh...  
  
Ender: NOW, can we run?!?!  
  
All: Yes!! *run away, while Zage sprouts her wings and flies*  
  
Kurai: RROOOOOAAAAAAARRRR!!!!! *Flares her wings and begins pursuit*  
  
little black cat: *sitting where Kurai was until just a moment ago* Meow?  
  
littler brown cat: Meow...  
  
even littler white cat: ...Meow....?  
  
  
( At Ender's house... )  
  
  
LbH: *SNOOOORE*  
  
Chris: .... hm? *yawn* Geez, LbH, you sound like a freight train...  
  
LbH: *ssssnnnOOOOORRE*  
  
Chris: Hm...sure is quiet out there...I wonder where everyone is? Oh well, I'm sure they're fine....*yawn*  
  
Peluso: (dreaming) no...no! Not...not the...whip! No!...Andy! Andyyyy! *snore, twitch*...I'm innocent! I *twitch* I swear...I...dunno where the chocolate is! No! I didn't take it! *snooore* ...I didn't put the bow on Cerberus either....it wasn't...me...I...swear... *snore, twitch, twitch*  
  
Chris: *sweatdrop*  
  
Deirdre: *yawn*...hm?...  
  
Chris: He's having nightmares again...  
  
Deirdre: Oh...ok.... *ZZZzzzz....*  
  
Chris: *yawn* hmm....g'night....*snore*  
  
Peluso: (still dreaming) heehee! Hello faeries! Heeheehee! *flaps arms in sleep* Weeeeee! I'm a flying sausage! Sent to save the *snore* world from the evil waffle god! *snore, twitch, snore..* Heehee!  
  
  
( Back with the authors... )  
  
  
Andy: *huff, puff, huff..* Is she gone? *huff, huff*  
  
Zephyr: *pant, gasp* I...dunno...*gasp, pant*..what's with all the sand?  
  
Zage: It's called a desert...  
  
Ender: Anybody mind if I just pass out? Ok, jes checkin'...ZZZzzzzz....  
  
Zephyr: Yeah, but how'd we get here?  
  
Zage: *shrugs* Probably a plothole or porthole or something of the sort...  
  
Crazy: Man...*pant, pant*...I've never run so fast in my life!  
  
Kinneas: Me neither! *huff huff huff*  
  
Zage: Sheesh, you guys are lame...*leans on a boulder*  
  
Andy: Hey! *huff* We can't fly ya know! *puff* You've got it easy!  
  
Zage: .......uh huh...  
  
Crazy: Yeah! We have to do it the hard way! *pant pant* Running!  
  
Zage: .....er....*blink*  
  
Kinneas: Ya! It's not fair! *pant huff puff*  
  
Zage: ....um....*points*  
  
Zephyr: So quit rubbing it in! *pant gasp pant*  
  
Zage: ...uh....guys? Um....  
  
Andy: What?!  
  
Zage: .....We're in trouble...*points again*  
  
All, except Ender cuz he's still asleep: *look where Zage is pointing* O_O; Nooo! Doesn't she ever rest?!  
  
Ender: Hey, some of us are trying to pass out over here...  
  
Zage: *grabs Ender by the shirt collar* Time to go..*takes off*  
  
Ender: Wha...? ...?!?! ACK!!   
  
The rest: *start running again*  
  
Kurai: *now running, smashes through boulders in her path in hot pursuit of the authors..* grrrrrr....RRRROOOOOAAAAARRR!  
  
*not far behind, a stolen Jeep, followed by three demons, is keeping pace..*  
  
Vincent: Hehe...this is kinda fun...*puts on a pair of sunglasses and tunes the radio* I let them wear her out...*checks the rearview mirror to make sure Cerberus is keeping up...then looks up to make sure Tkarr and Fei-Oh are still there..* Now this is revenge! *takes a sip of a water bottle, then tosses into the passenger seat with his cape and shirt* I almost feel sorry for them.....almost...*smirks*  
  
little black cat: *sitting on dashboard with its own pair of sunglasses* Meow!  
  
  
Will the authors ever be able to escape the rampaging demon?! Will Vincent's stolen Jeep ever run out of gas?! Will the muses ever wake up and find there authors?! Will the little, black cat ever have an active role?! Will the anime characters ever be released from the grip of the obsessive teenage girls?! Will I ever stop asking these stupid questions?! No! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--Huh? *squeak squeak* Oh no....not again! NOOOO!! *squeak squeak* Help me! Help meeeee--*thump* *squeak squeak* (the narrator has just been run down by last chapter's lemmings...)  
  
  
A/N: Well? ^_^ Any thoughts? Review! Personally, I enjoyed this chapter. Was it as funny as last chapter? Gotta lemme know these things! I don't think I'll add any more authors, just because I'll be ending this with chapter 6. Sorry to anyone who wanted to be in it! Anywho, review! I'm sorry this chapter took so long. Stay tuned for chapter 5!!


End file.
